How to Suggest Counselling to Someone You Care About
Are you concerned about someone close to you? Perhaps a friend, partner, or family member seems to be struggling, and you want to help but feel unsure how to approach the topic.
Learning how to suggest counselling is essential if you want to support your loved one thoughtfully and constructively. While counselling offers many benefits, suggesting therapy can feel tricky, you don’t want to cause upset, create resistance, or risk damaging your relationship.
Recommending counselling is a delicate act, requiring thoughtfulness, empathy, and care. You intend to help, but the how matters. With the right approach, you can encourage them to consider seeking help while maintaining their trust and ensuring they feel respected.
Why Suggest Counselling to Someone?
Before diving into how to suggest counselling, it’s important to understand why it might be the right step for someone. When a loved one is experiencing emotional struggles, mental health challenges, or relationship difficulties, they may need more than just the support of friends and family.
Counselling provides a safe space for people to explore their feelings, gain clarity, and develop coping strategies with the help of a trained professional.
Unlike the advice from well-meaning loved ones, a counsellor offers unbiased guidance tailored to the individual’s unique situation.
If you’ve noticed that your loved one is feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unable to move past a tough time, suggesting they seek counselling could be one of the most compassionate and supportive things you do.
Starting the Conversation: How to Suggest Counselling Gently
When suggesting counselling to someone, how you frame the conversation is vital. Start by showing genuine care and concern for their well-being.
Avoid making them feel judged or criticised, and steer clear of blunt or harsh phrases like “You need counselling.” Instead, focus on your observations and your care for them.
You could begin with statements like:
- “I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to check in. How have you been feeling lately?”
- “You mean so much to me, and I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit down. I want to help however I can.”
By centring your concern for their well-being, you reduce the chances of them becoming defensive. Your tone should be compassionate, empathetic, and free of pressure.
Create a Safe and Supportive Environment
The setting for this conversation matters. Choose a quiet, private place where they feel safe and comfortable. A familiar and relaxed setting—such as during a walk, at home, or in a peaceful park—can help them feel more at ease.
Timing is equally important. Avoid initiating the conversation when they’re stressed, distracted, or busy. A calm moment, with minimal distractions, increases the likelihood of them being receptive to the idea.
Anticipate Their Reaction
Even with a gentle and caring approach, the suggestion of counselling might trigger mixed emotions. Some people might feel relieved that someone cares enough to notice their struggles, while others may react defensively. They might dismiss the idea, saying, “I’m fine,” or even feel embarrassed or offended.
This reaction doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t need help; it’s often a response to the stigma or uncertainty surrounding therapy. If they react negatively, reassure them gently:
- “I’m not judging you. I just care about you and want you to feel supported.”
Being patient and empathetic is key. Even if they resist at first, planting the idea of counselling might encourage them to consider it in the future.
Addressing Common Concerns About Counselling
If your loved one hesitates or resists, they may have misconceptions or fears about therapy. To suggest counselling effectively, it helps to address these concerns.
- Stigma: Reassure them that seeking counselling isn’t a sign of weakness but of self-awareness and strength.
- Cost: If they worry about expenses, mention free or affordable counselling services in the UK, such as those offered by charities or local health organisations.
- Confidentiality: Explain that therapy sessions are private and offer a safe space for them to talk openly.
Understanding and addressing these worries can make counselling feel less intimidating and more accessible.
Share Your Own Experiences with Counselling
If you’ve personally experienced the benefits of counselling, sharing your journey can be powerful. Discuss how it helped you gain clarity, develop coping tools, or improve your mental well-being.
By being open about your own experience, you can make the idea of therapy feel less daunting and more relatable. Your honesty might inspire them to consider how counselling could help them too.
Be Patient and Respect Their Choice
Ultimately, deciding to attend counselling is a deeply personal choice. No matter how much you care, you cannot force someone to seek therapy. It’s important to respect their autonomy and allow them to decide in their own time.
Let them know you’re there for them no matter what. A statement like, “I just want what’s best for you, and I’ll always support you,” keeps the lines of communication open and shows your unconditional care.
When to Act Quickly
While respecting someone’s choice is important, there are situations where immediate action may be necessary.
If your loved one shows signs of severe mental health struggles, such as discussing self-harm or experiencing extreme distress—it’s crucial to encourage them to seek professional help urgently.
Suggest contacting their GP, or emergency services, or by reaching out to crisis support services like Samaritans or Crisisline. If needed, offer to help them make the call or accompany them for support.
Introducing the Idea of Counselling Gradually
If your loved one isn’t receptive to the suggestion of therapy initially, don’t feel disheartened. The idea of counselling doesn’t have to be introduced all at once. Gently planting the seed can give them time to think and come to the decision themselves.
For example, you might:
- Share articles, books, or podcasts about mental health or personal growth.
- Talk about someone you know (anonymously) who benefitted from counselling.
- Highlight that counselling is a practical tool anyone can use to feel better and achieve their goals.
Small, consistent efforts can help them feel less pressured while slowly warming to the idea of therapy.
The Importance of Empathy When Suggesting Counselling
Above all, your role in this process is to provide empathy and understanding. You’re not there to “fix” your loved one but to gently guide them toward a resource that can help.
Be patient, keep the conversation open, and maintain a non-judgmental attitude. Even if they don’t act on your suggestion right away, knowing you care can be a powerful source of comfort.
The Transformative Power of Counselling
Counselling offers people a chance to reflect, heal, and grow with the guidance of a trained professional. It’s not just for people facing significant mental health challenges but for anyone looking to improve their emotional well-being, navigate life’s changes, or achieve personal growth.
By learning how to suggest counselling, you’re offering someone you care about the opportunity to access this valuable support.
With compassion, patience, and thoughtful communication, you can encourage them to take a step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Low Cost Online Counselling
Our low-cost counselling service gives you access to private therapy for only £29. Just follow these two simple steps to access our affordable counselling service.
Step 1: Go to the self referral contact form below.
Step 2: Complete the form to book and secure an initial free consultation.
It’s as simple as that. One of our team will contact you within 24 hours to discuss your needs.
